Miss Belstrudle’s Crazy Day

This story is the winning entry of the August 2017 COF-challenge (Colors of Fiction) “Twins+School”

Miss Belstrudle’s Crazy Day


It started as a beautiful day at Buckeye High School. Nobody had caught on fire this week. That had to be a good thing.

Then, the Principal had to deal with her incorrigible new students again, Bobbie Joe and Billy Bob Drakewind, who had been sent to her office for the fifth time this week. And it was only Wednesday. Miss Bestrudle sighed. “What did you two do this time?”

“Nothing.” Billy Bob Drakewind looked down on the floor.

“Well, Mr. Cluefob said you set fire to his desk again.”

Billy Bob pointed at his sister. “She made me do it.”

“I did not!”

“Did too!”

“Did not!”

“ARGH,STOP IT!” The Principal was besides herself. “I don’t care who did it, the two of you are suspended and I’m going to have to call your parents. Do they have a cell phone number? Your address doesn’t seem to exist.”

“ That’s because they live deep in the bayou,” Bobbie Jo offered.

“They don’t have bayous in Ohio. Try again.”

“Okay, um, how about the desert?”

“Does Ohio look like a desert to you?”

“Okay, how about the Columbus Zoo?”

“That does it! I’m calling Child Protection Services!”

The teenagers looked white as ghosts. “Uh, don’t do that, Miss Belstrudle, we’ll be good.”

“That’s what you said when you blew up the toilet on Monday.”

“ The toilet was clogged,” Bobbie Jo protested.

Miss Belstrudle picked up the phone. “Hello, Child Protection Services?”

The teenagers’ color changed from white to a deep green. Bobbie Joe breathed fire out of her nose and burned the phone off Miss Belstrudle’s hand.

Miss Belstrudle looked at the two dragons with disdain. “Well, three can play at that game.” Her skin became a deep shade of red and horns grew out of her head. “There now, do I look familiar?”

“Um… you’re… um… Satan?”

“ Uh, yeah, I’m Satan, everybody thinks I’m Satan. No you incorrigible little pipsqueaks, I’m the Red Dragon from Poughkeepsie.” With that, the Red Dragon breathed her special fire at the two stunned little dragons, singeing Bobbie Jo’s little whiskers in the process.

Billy Bob looked at Bobbie Jo and made a face. “Eww! You look like somebody barfed hot sauce on you.”

The Red Dragon looked at her two little brats. “ Are you two going to behave from now on?”

“Yes, Miss Belstrudle.” Bobbie Jo looked down on the ground.

“Good, because I’m late for my tanning appointment. Do you know how hard it is to keep the perfect shade of red?”

“Not really.”

 

The mysterious Mr. Mustard, often referred to as the clown prince of Writing Forums (or at least a clown anyway), hails from the great metropolis of Baltimore, Maryland, where the citizens have to fend off the occasional giant crab invasions. He writes satire and comedy mostly and even has written one unpublished novella though only one member on WF has ever read it. He is a late comer in the writing field having only seriously written for the past three years

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